Utter the word “school bus” and for anyone who’s ridden one…every sense instantly engages! As an Arizona native the word resurrects scorching hot seats, sweaty legs, melted gum, foul odors, gruff drivers, screaming kids, bad language and more. In today’s therapeutic environment, most bus riders would be diagnosed with at least mild Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For me the bus was so unsavory that after a few early morning misadventures, I rode my bike to school for nearly a decade.
Fast forward from the 1970’s to 2006. In the 35 years since I’d last boarded a school bus, I assumed there would’ve been some advances. Nope!
My oldest son was 5 and my wife and I thought the one-mile ride to his first day of Kindergarten would be good for his self-esteem. A character-building adventure! We were sorely mistaken.
Like lambs to the slaughter we headed off to the bus stop.
We’d planned to follow the bus to school in our car so we could meet our son at the bus lane when he disembarked. So we drove the quarter-mile to the bus stop. Our son was nervous…really nervous. But staring down his fear and trepidation he took a deep breath and stepped into the abyss of the bus.
The driver, who’d likely come out of retirement, wasn’t friendly. Not unlike many men of that generation, he barked at my son, “Little kids in the first 3 rows.” My son walked past the first 3 rows, which were full…and panicked. His little face turned to me and said (I’d followed him onto the bus at my wife’s urging) – “Dad, what now?”
“Just sit anywhere!” ripped through the air – from the sweet, nurturing man behind the wheel. So as he fought back tears, my son found a seat…and so began his journey into the fallen world.
If you ask my kids, they’d tell you I turn every moment into a “teachable moment” – often to their dismay. Usually these moments revolve around sex, making good choices, avoiding drugs & alcohol, or loving their brother. But as I reflect on this moment – it’s simply about the power of words.
Don’t let even one rotten word seep out of your mouths. Instead, offer only fresh words that build others up when they need it most. That way your good words will communicate grace to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29 (The Voice)
I like this translation because of the words “rotten” and “fresh.” The bus driver didn’t use profanity. He didn’t abuse my son. But as I stepped off the bus I saw a man who’d hurled rotten words and showed no grace to a little boy who was nervous about his first bus ride.
I don’t know the true impact of the driver’s words, but we never saw him again. Not because we had him fired (we’re not those kind of people). My son just never rode the bus again.
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When we met my son at school, he got off the bus and said with tears in his eyes, “Please don’t make me ride the bus again.”
Thinking the bus was supposed to be the “easy part,” we walked our son to his home room to say goodbye. As expected, our misadventure on the bus didn’t set this up to be a Facebook moment. No, our goodbye was an emotional one between mom and son…culminating with me telling my wife, “Just walk away and I’ll get him in the door.”
I ushered him in, showed him to his desk, turned and left. He followed me to the door several times – clinging to my leg. Our final goodbye was me stiff-arming him Heisman style as his teacher, Miss Staley, grabbed him gently from behind, and pulled his clenched fist from the door handle as I slammed it in his face.
When I caught up with my wife who was standing out of eyeshot, she asked, “How’d it go?” I simply said, “Rough. Why don’t you let me manage this until he can do it without getting upset.”
So for the next 29 consecutive school days, I took my son to school. It literally took our son 6 weeks to get over the separation anxiety. Was it the bus driver’s fault? I don’t know. What I do know is that had he used “fresh words” instead of “rotten words” – showing grace instead of harshness – the first month of school might have unfolded differently.
Question: If you have a minute, I’d love to hear about your school bus misadventures! You can leave a comment by clicking here.