I’m fortunate to say I’ve never witnessed a tornado firsthand. My wife is what we call a
“weather bug” so we do experience them vicariously via the Weather Channel (often serving as
background ambiance in our home). One image emblazoned on my mind is the aftermath of
these violent storms. Towns turned to rubble with traumatized homeowners scavenging
through the mess to comprehend their new realities.
Our workplaces are akin to Tornado Alley. Every setting is susceptible to devastation when
pressurized conditions align to unleash twisters of emotions. Frustrated colleagues at odds with
their leaders threaten to quit their jobs. Competent individual contributors exhausted by
collaborating with difficult colleagues blow their tops like Mount Vesuvius. Depleted humans
tired of adulting contemplate trading in their families and lives. Humanity is messy. And our
workplaces are merely a microcosm of the surrounding world.
On the front side of a tornado, when the warning sounds, people scramble for safety. The well-
prepared know in advance precisely where they’ll go for safe harbor. Those with little foresight
scurry in panic seeking shelter.
Sadly, Christians in the workplace are as often the twisters as they are the safe harbors. Instead
of being places to which people go for safety, we’re often the storm people frantically seek to
avoid. Long ago, I committed to become, “A safe place for my colleagues to process dangerous
thoughts.” I decided to become a shelter in the storm.
One of the greatest gifts we can give to those in our midst is a safe place for them to process
emotions that, if further pressurized, could result in violent storms. What we all need, but are
often sadly missing, are trusted people with which to discuss our troubles. Toward that end,
here are some hallmarks of a safe person.
Safe people are available
While obvious, I’d be remiss if I didn’t start here. When storms are swirling, people need safety
now. Not next week. Not tomorrow. Maybe not even an hour from now. To become a safe
place to process dangerous thoughts, you have to be available. Even when it’s inconvenient.
Safe people are curious
Thoughtful open-ended questions are a helpful way to begin wading into and through
situations with people. Questions like, “You seem troubled. What’s on your mind?” can open
dialogue and get people talking. Part of being curious is also listening well … to what is said and
what’s not said. Searching beneath and beyond surface emotions can see through symptoms
and reveal root causes.
Safe people are discreet
Nothing smacks of betrayal more than when someone shares a closely-held secret, only to hear
from a third party later what was shared in confidence. Safe people guard others’ secrets. They
don’t blab. What you discuss in the safe house, stays safely guarded.
Safe people are calm
When people run to a safe house, their heart rate, blood pressure, and fear are elevated. Being
in your presence should have a calming effect. Regardless of what someone shares in
confidence, nothing should surprise you or freak you out.
Safe people are non-judgmental
The English reformer John Bradford is commonly attributed as having said, “There but for the
grace of God go I.” If you humbly appreciate that you’re capable of thinking or doing anything
(regardless of how illogical or immoral) you’re playing the role of safe person correctly. This
mindset enables you to hear the struggles of others while not marginalizing their feelings.
You may have been surprised that nowhere did I suggest that to be a safe place you need to be
a fixer or a solver. Safe houses are places where people retreat until storms pass over.
Emotions are like the twisters. They blow in all directions, with different intensities, inflicting a
variety of damages. But they eventually blow over.
Our workplaces are stormy. They need safe places for people to seek shelter when the winds of
life bear down on them. Ask yourself, am I the calm in the storm, or am I being blown about in
the wind? Becoming a safe place for people to process dangerous thoughts is a wonderful gift
to offer the colleagues in your midst.