Let’s face it, each of us carries a heavy load. No matter your stage of life, your pack is filled to some level with metaphorical rocks of varying sizes and weights. Some large. Some small. Collectively, your burdens hang on your back, slowing you down and stealing precious energy needed to endure the many challenges you face on the trail of life.
Everyone’s pack of burdens is loaded differently, but like most hikers’ packs, there are some basic things we all carry with us. Things like medical, physical, emotional, and relational weight. From low-grade fevers to terminal illnesses. Bumps and bruises to broken bones. Frustration and resentment to anger and grief. As if the burdens themselves weren’t enough, the weight on our backs is magnified by the difficulty of the trails we traverse. Trails that are often long, steep, and winding. If you’re human, there are likely times when the weight of it all exhausts you, making you want to give in and jettison both your pack and aspirations of reaching your destination.
Sadly, so much of what loads us down comes from others shoving rocks into our packs. Harsh words spoken to us unwittingly or maliciously. Brutal competition placing us at odds with our should-be allies. Thoughtless gossip undermining our credibility and self-confidence. Selfish people in our midst missing obvious opportunities to lend a helping hand when we need it most.
I’m a Gen Xer. As such, I grew up figuring stuff out on my own. We Gen Xers are independent, hardworking, and skeptical of the world around us, and no matter how heavy our burdens, we just carry them to the other side. Often alone. However, somewhere along the way, my faith instructed me that while I do have to carry my own burden, I must also seek to help carry the burdens of others. Not only that, I should do so and never grow weary of it. I’ve learned, and am still learning, how to carry the burdens of others. The selfish me resists doing so. However, I’ve also experienced the benefits of living this way. It’s not hard. But it isn’t intuitive or natural. However, learning to live this way amidst others is worthy of pursuit.
Be Attentive: Recognize that whilst you have your own burdens, others carry different but equally heavy burdens. Take your eyes off yourself and look at others. When you face struggles, taking your eyes off yourself and placing them on others can distract you and make your troubles seem less troublesome.
Be Safe: Sadly, many people have few, or even no, friends to talk with about their burdens. Worse yet, they may have people that will listen, but the ears listening may be unsympathetic or unwise. In another post I’ll talk about the power of “being a safe place for people to process dangerous thoughts” – but for now let me encourage you to be like a safe house where people can retreat in the midst of turmoil.
Be Active: Action trumps intentions. Especially when you’re carrying a heavy burden. The other day, one of my colleagues heard of some personal things I was dealing with. Upon hearing this, he came into my office and said, “I’d like to bring your family dinner tonight. Do you like Chipotle or is there something else you prefer?” In that moment, I felt a distinct sense of relief. Become a person known for putting action to your words on behalf of others around you.
I’ve gotta come clean though. Something about what I’m suggesting doesn’t add up. Actually, two things seemingly defy the laws of physics.
First, when other people help carry my burden, the net impact of their involvement in my life far surpasses the weight of the rock they remove from my pack. It’s as if removing rocks subtracts a weight greater than the weight it represents.
Second, when I invest in carrying the burden of others, the load I carry on my own back is lightened by an amount equal to or greater than the rock I removed from their pack.
I know this may seem far-fetched. Even pollyannaish. It certainly doesn’t resonate with a self-absorbed culture fixated on everyone doing, getting, or being what’s best for themselves. But if you’re interested in living a life that matters to more than yourself, carrying the burdens of others is a great place to start.
1 Galatians 6:2-10