After 25 years in the workforce, I awoke recently and realized…I’m a stranger in a foreign land.
How could it be that after all these years…all the hard work, politics, tough lessons, long hours, good leaders, bad leaders, successes and failures…the workplace still seems so foreign? Almost like Hermey the Elf in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer who longed to be a dentist…I awoke a misfit.
I was in yet another meeting recently in which a familiar question was posed. The question typically goes something like this: “What do we want our employees to “get” from this upcoming [insert word – meeting, off site, town hall, video conference]?” We contemplated the standard ideas. We want them to understand our business results, feel informed, cascade information…receive recognition. Having been both the leader and the led…I couldn’t help but think there was something bigger for our people to “get.”
I frequently recall something I learned years ago from one of my mentors, Tim Kimmel. Something about the core inner needs we have as humans – our innate, undeniable need for security, significance and strength. Whenever I have the opportunity, I elaborate on how we as leaders could engage with our people in hopes they might walk away truly believing…
I’m secure in my relationship with my leaders…because I know they’re committed to my success.
I’m significant…because I see that what I do here contributes to something bigger than myself.
I find strength in the hope I have for my future…because I’m part of a noble company with a bright tomorrow.
I wish I had pictures of all the strange looks I’ve seen on my colleagues’ faces as I’ve shared this idea over time. As if speaking Latin (a dead language my 2 sons both study…much to my father’s confusion), the awkward silence and blank stares are almost comical. It’s as if other leaders are searching for hidden words. Words limited by years in the marketplace with little training on how to engage the people they lead…at a heart level.
That night I thought about the exchange and awoke feeling like Hermey. Not aspiring to be a dentist. Rather, aspiring to be a leader uniquely committed to meeting my peoples’ inner needs and connecting with their hearts. I’m a man in the marketplace who cares as much about our peoples’ needs as our shareholder’s returns. While at times I’ve felt alone on the island of misfits for my strange commitment…I recently embraced it.
My advice to other misfit leaders is that you too embrace your misfit. In 5 specific ways:
Recognize the specific ways your viewpoints differ from those around you.
Accept that your unique perspective enriches your team.
Be bold but gentle in how you share your misfit. Offering it…not forcing it.
Avoid discouragement. Oftentimes, others aren’t rejecting your misfit…they just don’t understand it.
Celebrate the misfit of others…knowing there’s power in modeling, and that we’re all misfits in some way.
In a homogeneous world so much of what the people we lead experience is cliché. Not that cliché is necessarily bad. In fact cliché has a purpose. Cliché is efficient. Cliché works. But what cliché cannot do…is illuminate a bigger future.
In a homogeneous world so much of what the people we lead experience is cliché. Michael Tooker
If you’ve seen Rudolph, you might recall the scene where Hermey and his two misfit companions, Rudolph and Yukon Cornelius run their ice raft aground on the Island of Misfit Toys. After stumbling around the icy terrain for half the story, all three ultimately embrace their misfit…and manage to save Christmas. Whew!
Maybe it’s time we all learned from Hermey and his sidekicks and embraced our own misfit.
What’s your misfit? Mine is stewarding the hearts of the people I lead…to deeply encourage them in such a way that they experience what it feels like to have their innermost needs met.
Don’t be ashamed. Share your journey below so other misfits like me can appreciate we’re more than strangers in a foreign land. We’re leaders charting the course to a new land.